...Mom. At least that's the name that I respond to quickest these days. The saying is that a rose by any other name smells as sweet, but is that really true? Does it matter what I am called to who I am? If Madonna went by the name Hilda, would she be the sexy 50 year old star that she is today?
It took me years and years to lose my name. I gained a name when my first daughter was born. Suddenly I was two people - I was Mama/Mommy/Mom - changer of diapers, maker of formula, rocker to sleeper, spider-killer (OK, maybe I never mastered that one) but I was still Sharon - contributor to the Canadian economy. It wasn't until my husband accepted a job out East and we moved cross country that I lost the name I had held for 33 years. Not wanting to put the kids into daycare on top of the huge change we had imposed on them, I was suddenly a stay-at-home Mom to a 5 and 7 year old. I had spent most of the previous 7 years admiring stay-at-home Moms and saying that I could never do it - I needed to work, I needed a pay cheque and performance appraisals, and tangible signs that I was doing a good job. But if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you never know what is coming next, and clearly a new career in domestic engineering was next for me.
So here I am staying home with our six month old while the now 6 and 9 year olds are at school....this is why I always hated that question during interviews or performance appraisals "WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN FIVE YEARS?" well, certainly not here! I've given up predicting my future, and am trying to just take life as it comes.
So do I miss my old self? Sometimes. I won't lie, I still don't think I'm a natural to this staying home thing, but I am doing my best and I think that's enough. Do I love my new self? Yes. I love that I am home for my kids after school. I love that I can finally volunteer occassionaly at the school. I love that I am using home-made baby food instead of commercial for the first time. I love being Mom.
Now, you may be wondering about my blog title... Mom times 4 ....when I have only mentioned a 6 month old, 6 year old, and 9 year old. While my husband may be a child at heart, no, he isn't the 4th. But that story is for another day.